We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
