i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
