conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
