Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
