My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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