he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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