You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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