Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
