My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
