His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
