You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
