So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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