I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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