My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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