I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
