honey bunches of taint.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
