what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
