This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
