Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
