Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
