were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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