My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
