i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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