i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
