id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
