Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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