If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
