I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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