I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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