cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We have so much sex to catch up on
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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