Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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