Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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