My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
