i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dignity is for republicans.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
