Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
