you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
