So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
