I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
