this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
why is half of my head shaved?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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