i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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