then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Jerry, you need to find god
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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