So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Do vagina's smell?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
