it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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