I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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