I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
