I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
