Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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