She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
