I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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