I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize
